Do I have ADHD? : A Guide for Women Wondering

I recently learned that the average woman does not get diagnosed with adhd until they are in their late 30’s.. When I heard this stat it shocked me, even as a neurodivergent identifying therapist myself. There are many women who go misdiagnosed due to a multitude of factors including to women not outwardly expressing adhd symptoms, sexism in the healthcare system, and the conversation about adhd primarily focusing on boys in school who can not seem to sit still over have behavior problems. Women getting diagnosed late is a major problem. If you are presenting with the following symptoms it may be worth talking to a therapist who specializes  in ADHD or getting accessed by a psychologist. 

• You constantly feel overwhelmed by managing and keeping up with your daily activities or tasks related to your job 

• You struggle to maintain focus during conversations with others 

• You tend to daydream when you are trying to focus during work or other daily activities

• You struggle to keep organized or people might describe you as messy 

• No matter how hard you try you seem to forget appointments or little things throughout your day. 

• You often feel out of place with others or from a young age felt deeply misunderstood

How ADHD differs in women from men 

It's important to understand how symptoms of adhd often present much differently in women than in men. While men tend to be hyperactive (trouble sitting still, interrupting others and behavior problems)  women tend to be more inattentive. Inattentive adhd often looks like daydreaming, difficulty focusing on one thing at a time, losing items like keys/wallet, doubting themselves, and feeling overwhelmed by day to day responsibilities. A big part of adhd for women tends to be feeling overwhelmed and difficulty regulating their emotions. Difficulty regulating emotions may look like experiencing anxiety, sensitivity to rejection, and long lasting feelings of overwhelm and self doubt. 

Co- Occurring Anxiety or Depression

Many women with ADHD often experience other mental health issues including anxiety and depression. Sometimes adhd gets misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression due to symptoms looking similar.  However there are differences to note. Anxiety often is rooted in fear and worry while adhd is rooted in difficulty with focus, attention and regulation. Depression is often rotted in purposelessness and intense sadness.  The experience of having adhd for women often feels like an internal restlessness rather than intense fear or sadness. If you are experiencing difficulties with focus and regulation it may be possible you are experiencing ADHD. However for some women it can be difficult to determine because sometimes on top of having ADHD they also have anxiety or depression. Untreated adhd symptoms can often lead to anxiety and depression due to issues with feeling understood by their peers and executive functioning issues such as completing the tasks that they need to complete. Women who are experiencing adhd and not anxiety may experience the following 

• Feelings of overwhelm due to managing life's responsibilities such as work related tasks 

• You are constantly jumping between tasks 

• Forgetting appointments regularly 

• Chronically scattered despite having good intentions

Emotional impact of ADHD

For many women ADHD can have negative impact on their emotional life and self worth. Many women with adhd especially if late diagnosed can often feel misunderstood. You may have spent a lot of time feeling different than others or that there is something different about you that you just cant pinpoint. Feeling misunderstood can be crippling for women especially during the school years when they are just wanting to fit in. Women with ADHD may often struggle emotionally in the workplace. They may struggle to stay at jobs or complete all of the various tasks a jobs entails which ultimately can impact their self worth and how they view themselves. 

Questions to Consider 

If this post is resonating with you so far, here are some questions that might be worth asking yourself. 

• Do I generally feel like I work harder than my peer to stay on top of household activities or work tasks? 

• Do I tend to lose track of time or misplace everyday items such as keys or your phone? 

• Do I often feel overwhelmed and am struggling to understand why? 

• Have I been diagnosed with anxiety or depression and still feel like it doesn't fully encompass my experience? 

Resources for Understanding 

If this post resonated with you it may be worth talking with a therapist who specializes in ADHD or talking with your doctor. There are also tons of resources out there such as books and podcasts  to utilize to gain understanding of ADHD and if it's something that you are struggling with. 

If you are wondering if you may have ADHD, it's more than just a label. It's ultimately to help you better understand yourself, your emotions and your brain. Oftentimes the first step is understanding. Once you have understanding you can begin your journey to empowerment and authenticity.